Last Post of the Year!

Well, it's kind of hard to believe the year is nearly over, it was a seriously crazy year. I moved into my own place, learned who my real friends were, started counting on them more than I ever imagined, got married to the love of my life, and found out that my family has started and I will get to meet him in April!
As far as I can tell, everything is still going very well with pregnancy. Nathan was finally able to feel Jace kick for the first time! It was adorable because he got kind of teary-eyed and emotional. But then looked at me and was like, "I cannot imagine how weird that feels for you." And truthfully, he can't. The stronger the kicks get, the more it sometimes feels like there is a little alien living in me. But at the same time I am completely and totally in love with it because it means that he's okay and still growing. Okay, well, I love it a little less when he manages to kick my bladder, but that's part of pregnancy and I'm getting used to it. Technically, I won't be at week 25 until tomorrow, but I know that I won't have time tomorrow to do pictures and post with all other chaos, but one day didn't seem like a huge deal. It's funny looking at the first picture from week 7, I look unbelievably skinny. But my transformation is nothing compared to Jace's. He was smaller than a blueberry that first week, now he's about 13 inches long and weighs about a pound and a half! It's hard to believe I have only 15 weeks left, I'm over halfway done and getting so close to meeting him!
I've spent a lot of time the last couple days on pinterest getting ideas for the nursery and baby shower. Some of the ideas are too cute, like a punch bowl of blue punch with rubber duckies. And doing a thumbprint tree of family members to hang in the nursery. Oh and I cannot wait to do a maternity photo shoot, I've found some really creative shots that I want to do when I get a little rounder. Speaking of photos, being home this week we got our wedding pictures back! They are adorable and I love them! I'm still looking through them because I need to figure out which ones to print to make our wedding album, which will be my next project.
Well, I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Years Eve and a great start to 2012! 

Nursery Craze!

So, for the last couple days I have been setting up the nursery and organizing as well as researching and shopping for furniture. I think it's because I know that if I set it up now I won't have to stress over it while also doing classes and homework and everything else. Nathan keeps telling me to chill out, that we have plenty of time still, which we do, but I know that the sooner I get it done to better I will feel and the more prepared.
I did get one piece of furniture, a bookshelf that I found for $10, and over Christmas while I'm home mom said I can have all the baby books that I read when I was little, so I can start filling the bookshelf with bedtime stories! I know we have a lot of Dr. Suess, but I don't remember what all else, so I think it'll be lots of fun to look through all of the old stories I grew up with and know that now I get to pass them on to Jace.

Here are some of the pictures I've taken of the nursery so far, as well of some of the things we've collected for him. 

Week 23 (The start of a kicking baby boy)

My belly keeps on expanding, but the best part is, I can finally feel Jace moving! I'd been unsure before, I'd feel weird sensations from my belly, but I couldn't be sure it was him. Then, the other night, I was laying on the couch, relaxing and playing angry birds, and I felt a definitive kick below my belly button. Followed quickly by another one. It was an amazing sensation because I knew it was him, not just my body being weird. So, of course, I tell Nathan to come feel his son, and I put his hand right where I felt the kicks and... nothing. Still as ever. Nathan sat there for about ten minutes and finally gave up and said that I was just crazy. So now I keep trying to have Nathan feel it, but Jace is a stinker and for some reason will not kick if anyone else touches my belly. I guess for now it's just for me to treasure, but before too long Jace will be too big to hide it, so soon enough Nathan will get to feel too.

Oh, and have I mentioned that I love my husband? With the ever expanding bump, my wardrobe keeps shrinking because, well, nothing fits me! So, as part of my Christmas present (that I got early) he ordered me adorable maternity clothes that fit, are comfy, have room to grow, and that make me feel pretty again. The sweater in this week's pictures is one of them, it's warm and fuzzy and spacious, which means it's pretty much perfect.
Tomorrow we have another appointment and ultrasound, so we'll get to see our baby boy and hopefully he'll be active again. I do like getting all the check ups, as much as I dislike doctors, because they really make me worry less. And I can't help but worry sometimes because I want my baby boy to be healthy and strong when he's born.
This week Jace is papaya sized, about 10 to 11 inches or so long and about a pound. So he's getting pretty big, and in the next four weeks his weight should double as he starts to store up fat. He's also getting more and more sound, so he definitely knows my voice by now, hopefully he knows Nathan's too. Of course, with my little fur babies, he probably also knows the sounds of a purring kitten because both Belle and Mischief like to sleep on or near my belly and purr. Loudly. But hey, at least that's a calming pleasant sound to get accustomed to!
I'll update again soon, now that finals are over and so is the wedding and a lot else, I will have more time and should be able to blog more often!

First Baby Pictures!

My Family <3 

Baby Jace!

His adorable little feets!

Our beautiful baby boy will be here in April, and I can't wait to meet him! He was very very active during the ultrasound, he kept punching and kicking and rolling. It's weird that I still can't feel all this movement, but I'm really glad it's happening and that he's already an active baby. Well, more updates as I know them, but my baby boy is healthy, developing very well, and I cannot wait to meet him in April! 

Week 19 (Only one day till the ultrasound!)

Well, in less than 24 hours Nathan and I will have gotten to see our baby for the first time. And, as long as baby wants to cooperate, we'll know a gender so I can be better prepared for the nursery and I can finally call baby by their name!

This week baby will be about mango-sized (all the food size references still crack me up) and they'll be developing more and getting cuter =) So, they'll be cute for the ultrasound pictures tomorrow!

Last night was my bachelorette and Nathan's bachelor party, which was a great time. The girls and I went to Mellow Mushroom for pizza, and to the movies to see Crazy Stupid Love, which was amusing. We didn't get back into Berea till about 1am, then Courtney and I started watching Bridesmaids, sadly I fell asleep partway through, and now today is a homework day. Well, mostly homework. I also need to do some cleaning, the boys bachelor party left my house a little messy. It's really not that bad (thankfully!) but it does need a little TLC.
Well, I may blog again tomorrow night complete with ultrasound pictures and a name, but it may also wait till after my giant history paper is due. 

18 Weeks (only 22 weeks to go!)

I finally got Nathan to take a picture so there's more than just my tummy, of course, I also took one of the belly. Baby is 5" long this week, and I'm almost halfway through pregnancy! Everything still seems to be on track, no real movement to report (sadly) and I'm still counting down the days till the ultrasound to know the gender!

Friday night I got to spend time with another soon-to-be mommy. I don't think I've mentioned it before, but one of my very good friends will be having a baby very close to the same time as me, she's due about 2 weeks after my due date, so we've been able to help each other with pregnancy symptoms, learning what to do, and just being there to support each other. I love it, I love having someone so close that I can relate to and get support from.

Of course, Nathan has been trying to be supportive too, but there really is only so much he can understand about it all.

This morning I started looking online for more baby stuff, it's all so stinkin' cute! Girl or boy all the baby stuff is adorable, and it's so so tiny! Whenever I think about how small the baby will actually be when it's born the more afraid I am that I might hurt it because it will be so itty biddy.

Well today I'm going to spend some time getting ahead on hw, cleaning the house, and getting things accomplished because the next three weekends will be completely insane. Next weekend are Nathan and I's bachelor and bachelorette parties, the following weekend we'll be in Ohio for Thanksgiving break, and the weekend after that is the wedding! Time is just flying by and there's still much to do, hopefully we can get it all done in time!

Week 17

Well if there were any doubts about my bump showing up, they've vanished. It's funny to have people come up to me at classes and around campus to try to rub my belly. Sometimes it's a little awkward, but most of the time it's just cute.

And since baby can hear, I now talk to her all the time. She's like a walking journal, she knows everything! I also sing to her a lot, hopefully she likes my singing voice, otherwise when she gets bigger she may let me know her dislike with little kicks!

Friday was another doctor visit, and everything checked out wonderfully. The doctor was happy with my blood tests, weight gain, blood pressure, and we were all thrilled about the very strong, easy to find heartbeat. Instead of making us wait until week 20 we're going to go in on November 21 to get the first ultrasound and (hopefully) find out the gender! Unless of course baby is hiding, which is possible. I really hope she doesn't though, because I would love to start calling her by her name. Or his name, if so appropriate lol.

The wedding plans are going wonderfully, there's not too awful much left to do! Right now I'm just trying to keep up with the RSVP list. I'm so blessed because so many of my friends are traveling down (or up) to come to the wedding to support us! And a lot of our friends have said they'd love to help up with set up and decoration and all the other things that will have to happen the day of! Sometimes I'm not really sure how I got so lucky, but I have some of the best support in the world, and some people that I know would do anything for me and Nathan and itty biddy.

Well, I don't think there's much else I wanted to update on, just that things are going well, Nathan and I are happy (he's excited the baby can hear too, at night he'll lay down beside me and talk to my belly so baby will know his voice too), baby is healthy and growing, and our little family is getting stronger every day <3

xoxo

A Non-Baby Update

I will never understand why a simple task, like maybe registering for classes, has to become such a hassle. Okay, to be fair, I forgot registration was this morning. I've been a little busy, a little stressed, and had plenty of other things on my mind. But, thankfully, I wasn't really able to sleep so I saw a facebook update about registration and freaked out because it was 6:53. Registration begins at 7:00.

I run downstairs, grab the computer, and naturally there's an error on myberea. So, I can't register. Or look up classes. Or enter my pin. Or... well you name it I can't do it. I spend the next few minutes diligently hitting Refresh and hoping to god to eventually be able to register so I can get my classes. Hallelujah it goes through! I get one class, then two, except then I try to register for EDS 480, you know, one of those required classes that must be taken my pre-professional term, where there are limited spots available, and no. Denied. I don't meet the prerequisites. Except, I've taken EVERY EDS course I need, done EVERY portfolio and jumped through EVERY hoop that has been put in front of me. So now, I have to figure out how to get an override into a class that, by all logic, I should meet the prerequisites for.

Ugh, this has been the start to my day. Somehow, I'm not very optimistic for it to get much better.

Also, I will baby update soon, but I don't have the camera with me right now so I can't upload the picture yet and I prefer to have a picture with my updates.

xoxo

Weeks 14 & 15!

So, I remembered to take a picture last week, but ran out of time to post a blog (oops). I'm doing my best, I swear! But wedding planning, being a senior in college, and being pregnant are exhausting!

First is my belly at week 14, it's funny to watch it grow little by little. People have started noticing the bump at this point and asking if I'm pregnant, which is amusing. Nathan told me I should tell people no, that I'm just having issues with my

weight just to embarrass them, but I don't have it in me to be quite so mean.

Anyway, last week itty biddy was about the size of a lemon. Which is pretty darn big! She has all her fingers and toes and probably began sucking her thumb.

This week she is the size of a small orange, about 4 inches long! She's moving a lot, and soon I should be able to feel it, which is amazing, and she may have even gotten the hiccups for the first time! When she gets bigger I'll be able to see my belly shake when she has the hiccups, which is apparently very common for babies.

Here is my belly as of tonight:

Week 13 (I got a little behind)

We're at trimester two! Itty biddy and I have made it through the first third of pregnancy and we're that much closer to meeting each other face to face. This past Wednesday Nathan and I heard the heartbeat for the first time. The strong, fast, healthy baby heartbeat that leads our doctor to believe that I am carrying a HEALTHY baby and that we are right where we need to be in development. Our next appointment isn't until week 16, so in the meantime I just have to keep eating (mostly) healthy, getting sleep, and avoiding the things that are dangerous for itty biddy.
Nathan and I have decided on the theme for the nursery, and it's gender neutral. Lion King animals! If we have a girl we'll make it girlier animals of course, but the carpet in the nursery is brown and the walls are pale yellow, so a lion king theme with baby lions, elephants, and other safari animals would be adorable. I got the first items for the baby as well. A tiger blanket and monkey rattle and blanket. They're so cute!

Nathan and I have been doing really well as well. Hearing the heartbeat made him really realize that he's going to be a dad and that I really am housing our baby. He looked like he was nearly in tears when he first heard the heartbeat.

Well I think that's about all I needed to update on, things just got a little crazy for the past month, moving to a new apartment, some financial distress, some future family insanity. Now things have finally returned to calm and normal and I can focus on school, nathan, and staying healthy for itty biddy =)

Engaged and Week 8!

I got my engagement ring yesterday, and it is PERFECT. The diamond came from my mom, which means every time I look at it I think both of her and of the love of my life. It really makes the wedding feel more real as I continue diligently planning for it. My wedding dress is hidden in Cassie's closet, 2 of my bridesmaids have their dresses, and I call to rent the hall on Tuesday morning!
Nathan is being so good about it, he's excited too which makes it even better. Plus he's excited to incorporate Disney into it as well!
And itty biddy keeps on growing! This week she'll be the size of a large raspberry and developing more and more every day. However, since it's my body that's creating hers I'm exhausted all the time. She makes me super super sleepy sometimes, but I should get my energy back in the second trimester. Of course the real downfall is morning sickness, I hate feeling sick while sitting through 2 hour lectures. But I know it isn't itty biddy's fault, it just isn't really fun for me.

Soon enough will be my first doctors appointment and ultrasound! That's exciting, then, as I keep mentioning, the heartbeat. Oh and then before I know it I'll be able to feel her kick and flip and move! I hope she's an active baby =)

And I really feel the need to mention that I love how supportive my friends are. My real friends at least lol. They keep reminding me that I'll be a good mommy and that I can do this. Oh, and they let me know that they will help. And spoil.

Well, that's all for now, I'll update again soon!

Itty Biddy Week 7

Now starts week 7 of itty biddy's existance and she (i'm using she because it's better than writing he/she or especially "it" every time I want to talk about baby) is about the size of a blueberry! Of course, I've gotten a little bit of a bump considering she's that tiny still, but apparently she's about 10,000 times bigger than when she was first conceived.

So below is the bump at week 7, and my goal is to take pictures every week so I can see how big itty biddy gets. In about 3 weeks we should be set for the first ultrasound and to be able to see and hear itty biddy's heartbeat for the first time! I really can't wait for that, I think it'll make it all seem so much more real. Right now I keep looking at my tummy in sort of disbelief, it's hard to believe that there's a human life in there!

Moving Forward More and More!

It's been a week and a half since I found out about itty biddy. I'm feeling the symptoms of her/him a little more now, but no morning sickness yet! *knocks on wood*

So, while planning the future and nathan and i were figuring everything out, we decided to get married! So now i'm diving into wedding planning, and completely adoring it! Not that I have to justify myself, but I will anyway, Nathan and I aren't getting married BECAUSE of itty biddy, we're just getting married SOONER because of itty biddy! I have already decided my colors and started figuring out details! It looks like the wedding will be December 3, and it is going to be amazing. I went wedding dress shopping for the first time yesterday!

Readjusting to an Itty Biddy!

Yep, I'm expecting an itty biddy one now!
I found out on Monday morning, and it was just a touch shocking. Nathan and I are having a little one join our family in April. It took 2 full days for it to truly sink in, and in those two days we had to tell all the soon-enough-to-be-grandparents because we were home. It was scary! We had to explain over and over that we were both going to finish school, that we had a plan to make it work, that it was going to be fine, and that we were happy about it. I know this is not the "ideal" time to become a mother, but at the same time, I don't believe that there is a perfect time. Parenting is never going to be easy, it's just easier when you're more settled in careers and homes.

The more time passes and the more accustomed to the idea that I become, the more excited it get. In about 5 weeks we should *hopefully* be able to hear the baby's heartbeat!

No Time to Write!

Well, with all three of these jobs I've really lost the time I used to have to write! Which is such a pity because I love writing so much.

Things have been going pretty well. Well, one of my roomates had a freak out, decided she didn't want to live with me anymore, and up and moved out. Which means my new task is to replace her so we can afford to keep living here without having to break the lease. But, even though it's put us in a tough spot for now, I'm actually happier that she's gone. Things are less dramatic and tense in the house, it's a laid back happy place to be now which is all I wanted from the beginning.

Lifeguarding is amazing, I love being outside and getting to swim and play on the diving board and water slides. I enjoy it and I'm making new friends which is always a bonus. Otherwise I really haven't been up to much. I spend most of my time working at one job or another and my downtime is spent with Cassie and my love.

Tomorrow I actually have a full day off from all three jobs so we're going up to Richmond to see Pirates of the Carribbean 4 and go out to lunch and go shopping. That's the best part about 3 jobs, I actually have a little bit of money to finally do some shopping and not constantly freak out about money. It's such a great place to be.

Well, I'll try to write again soon, but I hope everyone is having a great summer!

Nightmares

So for the last week I keep having those nightmares. You know the ones. You wake up heart racing, tears threating, and that conviction that it really happened.
Last week it was a threat to my love and my parents. And I couldn't save them both, I had to choose one or the other and the last thing that happened before I awoke? A gunshot. Aimed at me.
Horrifying, right? No wonder I couldn't go back to sleep.

Last night wasn't much better. I was pregnant, several months along, and had a giant huge belly that I constantly kept my hand over to protect. I was in jail by mistake, and scared to death, but then I went to the doctor and found out that my baby was dead.

I have no idea where these are coming from, no idea what they signify, and if they're warnings then I don't want to leave my house anytime soon. But I just can't understand what's going on. Normally I have some strange dreams, or ones that upset me a little bit, but I've never had truly terrible nightmares all so close together.

Any suggestion on how to get rid of them? Cause right now they're messing with my sleep cycle a little bit.

Love, Life, Lack of Time

Hello all!

So the weeks I feared have arrived. Everything is currently overlapping.

1.) My EDS 355 class, which is waking up at 5:30am and getting home at 4:30pm, is ongoing.
The plus side? I adore it, I love my kids and getting to learn more about Islam at the same time.

2.) Me the museum curator! When I'm not in Lexington for class, I spend my time at the Appalachian Center on campus assisting to create an exhibit on Appalachian literature. Not on is it really fascinating, it's also very hands on and comes with a lot of freedom, which i completely adore. I'm working with new poetry, fiction, and theater and tying it to artifacts.

3.) The internship for the Kentucky Women Writers conference *http://www.uky.edu/WWK/* which is just one day a week and has me reading new authors and new poets giving me more experience in literature, writing, and hopefully even in education when it comes time for the conference in September.

4.) Saving lives! Yep, lifeguard assessment, training etc is underway. Monday evening I spent two hours in the pool remembering my rescues etc. It was a lot to remember since I got my certification over a year ago. But I did pretty well and I'm excited for the pool to open so I can get to work work. I'll be there full time this summer, plus still doing the internship and hopefully 5 hours a week as a curator still.

So, yep, my life has gone crazy busy, but I can't really complain. I love all the new experiences and new excitement that are happening!

Hope summer is starting off well for everyone else! Es-salaam Alikuum

Bunny Photo Shoot

So today I had Juliet out for awhile and while she was out I thought I'd take some pictures of her. Of course, I couldn't resist the urge to share =)

Inspiration

So today I was on stumbleupon and came across an idea that really resonated with me. It's a blog about what you would have said * wouldhavesaid.com *

In my case, it made me think about things that I wish I would have said. More specifically, I'm thinking this year a lot about my papa. When I was 15 he passed away, and he was one of the most important people in my life. He was always there for me and I can't begin to really describe why he was important to me. As important as words are to me, they fail me here.

But I decided to write a letter. To express myself and how I've been feeling.

Dear Papa,

If you were still here there would be so much I would say to you. I don't even know where to begin. First off, if I could change the past, the last words I would say to you would certainly be "I love you." I didn't know that it would be the last time I saw you, and the fact that I never said goodbye still haunts me to this day. By the time I saw you again you were nothing more than a body, and I'd lost my chance to say farewell.
But I know I have to let that go. I can't hold on forever to the fact that I didn't get my goodbye. So I just have to trust that you know how much I love you and know that I miss you. I think you'd be proud of me though. I graduated high school, and I got accepted to a good college. I've worked really hard in the last five years to try to make something of myself. I just finished my junior year of college, and I'm officially a college senior. I'm right on track with where I need to be to be a high school English teacher and a writer. I get good grades and work hard, I also learn a lot. And I'm working a lot too, I've worked at so many different jobs lately so I'm really building us a resume. I think you'd like hearing about some of them, particularly this summer when I'll be lifeguarding.
And you, more than anyone else in my family, always wanted the best for me. You wanted me to have everything and you absolutely spoiled me. I miss that now. But I think it would make you really happy to know that I think I've found the guy I want to marry. He's really good to me, and he does everything he can to make me happy. I love him very much, and I've told him about you. He lets me cry when I talk about you, and he tries to understand why you were so important to me. He doesn't totally get it, and I don't see how he could, but he really does try for me.
Yet that makes me still sadder. Because when we get married, we both want a family. I can't wait to have a baby, and create a family. And while I've always been excited for that future, when I was younger I always expected you to be there as a papa to my kids. You were so patient and loving with me, I always wanted my kids to experience that as well. It's hard to think that they'll never know you. Never get to experience your love and affection. I have so many amazing and wonderful memories with you and I never want to forget them. I still remember your laugh, that you would scratch my back, that whenever I went away, even at the worst of your Alzheimers, you asked about me and never forgot who I was.

I miss you and I love you. I wish you were going to be here, but I want to thank you for all the memories and all the times that you let me know how much you loved me.

Millie-pie, age 21.

Picture Editing Makes Me Smile

So I spent some of my evening watching The Rocky Horror Picture show and just relaxing. And I've been finding a lot of really good quotes lately, so I decided that in the last few days that I still actually have Picnik Premium, I would do some final edits.

Thunderstorming Afternoon

After a couple days of intense heat and sun, I'm glad to see the thunderstorms roll in. Something about rain just seems so very cleansing to me. It's like washing away the dirt and grime at the end of a tough day and making things clean again.

So maybe tonight when I get home from work I'll convince that boy of mine to dance with me out in the rain and welcome the weekend <3

Es-salaam alikum

I was hiding under your porch because I love you

So I think every so often I'm entitled to an "I love love" post. Just sometimes lol

Nathan and I have been living together for about three weeks now, and to me it was kind of a test. How do we do when we don't have nights to ourselves? Will it be too much to be together all the time? Can our personalities mesh?

And, honestly, I'm so happy. Yes, there are moments when he leaves his clothes all over the floor or won't wake up till past noon and I can feel that annoyance, but otherwise I'm completely happy. I love that he's the last thing I see before I fall asleep at night and the first thing I see in the morning when I wake up. I love that he cooks dinner for me, helps me out around the house, and feeds the bunnies for me when I have to get up really early and leave.

Today we went out grocery shopping and to get some other basic things, and he surprised me with a single red rose. When I asked what it was for, he said just because I deserve it. And, to me this was the most powerful gesture of love, the first day I was going up to Lexington Universal Academy I was nervous. I wasn't sure what to expect and had never seen the school, and he knew that. So my alarm went off at 5:30am, I started getting ready and putting on my hijab, and my boyfriend who prefers to sleep till noon woke up, pulled me into his arms for a hug and a kiss and told me not to be nervous that it would be a great day and that the kids would love me.

It calmed me, at least a little, and I was so grateful that he woke up to begin with. I expected him to sleep and not even notice I had left. I adore the little things like that, they reassure me that Nathan really is the love of my life and maybe we'll have the romance of Carl and Ellie in UP. We'll

have tough times, bad things may happen, but through it all we'll love each other and make each other happy.

Being Happy and Being Me

So it's been a little while since I've had anything to say about my life. But, I've actually been doing pretty well. Still dealing with a little drama and the feeling of being replaced, but I'm proud to say that I'm figuring out more about who I am in the process.

I finished up my junior year of college, as unbelievable as it seems even to me. I think I did well in all of my classes. But, that's not the exciting part. For summer 1 I needed to take an education class that would place me into an environment that I hadn't grown up in. So I'll be spending ten days at the Lexington Universal Academy, which is a K-8 Muslim school located in Lexington. My first day was this past Wednesday and I've fallen in love with the school. The students are amazing, the integration of religion with school makes this school more a community than just a school. The entire atmosphere is so welcoming and inviting, even to a non-Muslim, such as myself. But the interesting part?

Being there is giving me back some of my faith. Yes, they pray in Arabic instead of English. They believe Jesus was a prophet rather than the son of God, and they refer to God as Allah. But they connect every movement, every breath, and every action to God. They believe that the only way to paradise (heaven) is to reach a point where we all love each other. The connections, the power of prayer, and of course the power of love, have let me do a lot of thinking.
I know, and I think I've always known that I believe in God. But, where I think I'm starting to differ from many other Christians, is that I believe Allah is the same God as the God of Christianity. And Judaism, and other religions. To me, I suppose the exact details aren't what's important. I have believed that Jesus is the son of God, and that he gave his life to pay for our sins, but I can't believe that Muslims are completely wrong. Just because they believe in the prophet Muhammad doesn't, to me, mean that they are condemned to Hell or that they are any less deserving of God's love. They have found a different way to worship Him, and they do so faithfully.

And I really think that a goal for myself this summer is going to be to learn about other religions. Because there are things that are so similar from Christianity and Islam. I'm hoping to take full advantage of my time at LUA to learn more about Islam. But here's one thing I really feel a need to share. There are 5 pillars of Islam, and one is charity. Muslims are called to be charitable to those less fortunate (which is similar to a Christian thought). But a quote from the prophet Muhammad is "Even meeting your brother with a smile is an act of charity."
Isn't that a wonderful thought? To me it was inspiring, because as a college student I have very little money to offer to anyone else. I barely have enough to get myself by. However, no matter how poor I may be, I can always offer a smile. It just really stuck with me, and I took it to heart.

Well, I think I may be writing a lot more lately, and I know that I do want to pursue this more, because I am absolutely certain that I want God in my life, and I know that I need to keep pushing into this and talk to people. I think conversation could be a very useful tool to me through all this.

Es salaam Alikuum (Blessing and Peace be upon you in Arabic)

Happy Easter

Just wanted to post and tell everyone that I hope you're having a wonderful Easter, however you decided to spend it =)

I spent a calm day with my friends, and I'm truly thankful that the week coming up is the last of classes <3

Easter Surprises!

Today is going a bit more swimmingly than yesterday, probably because I finally made the decision that I'm not going to make an effort for the people who don't make an effort for me.
Therefore, I can stop feeling so miserable and downhearted, because I'll surround myself with those willing to take the time to help lift me up.

So, today I arrived at work, expecting just another dull day, and on my desk I found the most adorable little easter basket filled with noms =)

The picture quality is terrible because I took it with my phone, but the gesture still means just as much.

And the whole thing really got me thinking, if little things like this make me smile so much and make me so happy, why not do it for some others who could use a little joy too?

So next time I'm feeling sad, or un-included, I'm going to throw myself into project mode instead of wasting my time being unhappy. Cause there's no real logic to being sad, it doesn't really help anyone including me, so let's focus on being happy =)

Not So Optimistic

So I've started to get a bit afraid of my own mind lately.
I used to be really strong, I mean I've always been able to handle whatever life decided to throw my way, but lately it's been not so great.

Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I'm starting to feel out of place in my own friend group. Truly. And I've no idea how to fix it at all.
My roomate, who has been close to me absolutely forever, suddenly doesn't want to spend any time with me whatsoever. Normally at night we hang out in our room and watch TV, talk, relax. And this week since we're moving into our home, I figured that we'd spend tons of time together moving in. However, it's not just that she's been busy, anytime she's been free she's gone out with everyone else in our friend group. Usually without me.
I tried to ask her to spend some time with me, I explained that I've been feeling lonely and neglected, but somehow that's done nothing to make her want to spend any more time with me.

The issue is, I don't know what else to do to make this any better. I've tried so hard, I've talked to her and everyone else about how I've been feeling neglected and un-included, and even that I'm starting to think I'm becoming depressed, but nothing seems to be helping.

I just wish I knew that I had someone other than Nathan that really cares about me and loves me. Because I'm really not good right now and I could use a couple real friends to hang out with and spend time with.
I could use some compassion, and someone to listen to me and tell me that it's all gonna be okay. Because it's hard enough with things go dreadfully wrong (chronic pain, TEP, stress, finances, and depression) but without a close group of friends to help see you through? It looks a lot more impossible...

Sorry to be such a downer, I needed somewhere to post my feelings and I don't have anyone else to listen, so if you made it all the way through this post, thanks for your patience

Home Is Where the Heart Is

I've spent the weekend moving into my new home, organizing, setting up, and I spend my first night there on Saturday night. Of course, right now I'm back on campus because we're not quite ready to permanently move in. We still need some basic furniture, oh and internet. That's really important to get homework done.

But I thought I'd add some pictures because I'm so excited about having my own house <3
There will be more to come, especially once I start gardening!

Kitchen:

Bathroom:

My Room! =)

More updates to come, particularly when I actually have some time on my hands. Only two more weeks of school to get through, then it's sweet summertime <3

Falling Apart

Well, my worlds seems to be falling apart right now. But I wanted to share a couple little things that have still managed to make me smile

A quick life update

Well my roomate's Junior Vocal Recital was this weekend, and while it was stressful at times, it was also amazing!
Ali was GORGEOUS and having her whole family here was quite fun =)

I took a lot of pictures, which I thought I'd share.

And, my biggest responsibility, aside from keep Ali away from stress, was the reception afterward. I took some pictures of it finished product, and I was told that if this whole teaching thing fails I could always consider a career as an event planner instead. I almost considered it because I'm very much a perfectionist,

and I really enjoyed putting everything together for Ali. We had a great variety of food (donated by family members) cupcake tiers rather than a cake, and had pictures frames for everyone that attended to sign.

The entire night was great, and I loved getting to see Ali shine after a year of hard work and preparation.