Being Happy and Being Me

So it's been a little while since I've had anything to say about my life. But, I've actually been doing pretty well. Still dealing with a little drama and the feeling of being replaced, but I'm proud to say that I'm figuring out more about who I am in the process.

I finished up my junior year of college, as unbelievable as it seems even to me. I think I did well in all of my classes. But, that's not the exciting part. For summer 1 I needed to take an education class that would place me into an environment that I hadn't grown up in. So I'll be spending ten days at the Lexington Universal Academy, which is a K-8 Muslim school located in Lexington. My first day was this past Wednesday and I've fallen in love with the school. The students are amazing, the integration of religion with school makes this school more a community than just a school. The entire atmosphere is so welcoming and inviting, even to a non-Muslim, such as myself. But the interesting part?

Being there is giving me back some of my faith. Yes, they pray in Arabic instead of English. They believe Jesus was a prophet rather than the son of God, and they refer to God as Allah. But they connect every movement, every breath, and every action to God. They believe that the only way to paradise (heaven) is to reach a point where we all love each other. The connections, the power of prayer, and of course the power of love, have let me do a lot of thinking.
I know, and I think I've always known that I believe in God. But, where I think I'm starting to differ from many other Christians, is that I believe Allah is the same God as the God of Christianity. And Judaism, and other religions. To me, I suppose the exact details aren't what's important. I have believed that Jesus is the son of God, and that he gave his life to pay for our sins, but I can't believe that Muslims are completely wrong. Just because they believe in the prophet Muhammad doesn't, to me, mean that they are condemned to Hell or that they are any less deserving of God's love. They have found a different way to worship Him, and they do so faithfully.

And I really think that a goal for myself this summer is going to be to learn about other religions. Because there are things that are so similar from Christianity and Islam. I'm hoping to take full advantage of my time at LUA to learn more about Islam. But here's one thing I really feel a need to share. There are 5 pillars of Islam, and one is charity. Muslims are called to be charitable to those less fortunate (which is similar to a Christian thought). But a quote from the prophet Muhammad is "Even meeting your brother with a smile is an act of charity."
Isn't that a wonderful thought? To me it was inspiring, because as a college student I have very little money to offer to anyone else. I barely have enough to get myself by. However, no matter how poor I may be, I can always offer a smile. It just really stuck with me, and I took it to heart.

Well, I think I may be writing a lot more lately, and I know that I do want to pursue this more, because I am absolutely certain that I want God in my life, and I know that I need to keep pushing into this and talk to people. I think conversation could be a very useful tool to me through all this.

Es salaam Alikuum (Blessing and Peace be upon you in Arabic)

Happy Easter

Just wanted to post and tell everyone that I hope you're having a wonderful Easter, however you decided to spend it =)

I spent a calm day with my friends, and I'm truly thankful that the week coming up is the last of classes <3

Easter Surprises!

Today is going a bit more swimmingly than yesterday, probably because I finally made the decision that I'm not going to make an effort for the people who don't make an effort for me.
Therefore, I can stop feeling so miserable and downhearted, because I'll surround myself with those willing to take the time to help lift me up.

So, today I arrived at work, expecting just another dull day, and on my desk I found the most adorable little easter basket filled with noms =)

The picture quality is terrible because I took it with my phone, but the gesture still means just as much.

And the whole thing really got me thinking, if little things like this make me smile so much and make me so happy, why not do it for some others who could use a little joy too?

So next time I'm feeling sad, or un-included, I'm going to throw myself into project mode instead of wasting my time being unhappy. Cause there's no real logic to being sad, it doesn't really help anyone including me, so let's focus on being happy =)

Not So Optimistic

So I've started to get a bit afraid of my own mind lately.
I used to be really strong, I mean I've always been able to handle whatever life decided to throw my way, but lately it's been not so great.

Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I'm starting to feel out of place in my own friend group. Truly. And I've no idea how to fix it at all.
My roomate, who has been close to me absolutely forever, suddenly doesn't want to spend any time with me whatsoever. Normally at night we hang out in our room and watch TV, talk, relax. And this week since we're moving into our home, I figured that we'd spend tons of time together moving in. However, it's not just that she's been busy, anytime she's been free she's gone out with everyone else in our friend group. Usually without me.
I tried to ask her to spend some time with me, I explained that I've been feeling lonely and neglected, but somehow that's done nothing to make her want to spend any more time with me.

The issue is, I don't know what else to do to make this any better. I've tried so hard, I've talked to her and everyone else about how I've been feeling neglected and un-included, and even that I'm starting to think I'm becoming depressed, but nothing seems to be helping.

I just wish I knew that I had someone other than Nathan that really cares about me and loves me. Because I'm really not good right now and I could use a couple real friends to hang out with and spend time with.
I could use some compassion, and someone to listen to me and tell me that it's all gonna be okay. Because it's hard enough with things go dreadfully wrong (chronic pain, TEP, stress, finances, and depression) but without a close group of friends to help see you through? It looks a lot more impossible...

Sorry to be such a downer, I needed somewhere to post my feelings and I don't have anyone else to listen, so if you made it all the way through this post, thanks for your patience

Home Is Where the Heart Is

I've spent the weekend moving into my new home, organizing, setting up, and I spend my first night there on Saturday night. Of course, right now I'm back on campus because we're not quite ready to permanently move in. We still need some basic furniture, oh and internet. That's really important to get homework done.

But I thought I'd add some pictures because I'm so excited about having my own house <3
There will be more to come, especially once I start gardening!

Kitchen:

Bathroom:

My Room! =)

More updates to come, particularly when I actually have some time on my hands. Only two more weeks of school to get through, then it's sweet summertime <3

Falling Apart

Well, my worlds seems to be falling apart right now. But I wanted to share a couple little things that have still managed to make me smile

A quick life update

Well my roomate's Junior Vocal Recital was this weekend, and while it was stressful at times, it was also amazing!
Ali was GORGEOUS and having her whole family here was quite fun =)

I took a lot of pictures, which I thought I'd share.

And, my biggest responsibility, aside from keep Ali away from stress, was the reception afterward. I took some pictures of it finished product, and I was told that if this whole teaching thing fails I could always consider a career as an event planner instead. I almost considered it because I'm very much a perfectionist,

and I really enjoyed putting everything together for Ali. We had a great variety of food (donated by family members) cupcake tiers rather than a cake, and had pictures frames for everyone that attended to sign.

The entire night was great, and I loved getting to see Ali shine after a year of hard work and preparation.